Not "Merried" Yet


It's the month of December which means every weekend there is some event that is sure to be both joyful and triumphant. So here you are at a Christmas party you didn’t really want to go to, but had to go to because it’s your best friend’s friend’s cousin’s annual holiday bash. You walk in and are immediately swallowed by a sea of couples, doing couply things, like sipping eggnog and wearing matching ugly sweaters. You love them and hate them. You want to be them and yet you loathe them all at the same time.

Just when you think you can leave, the coupliest couple of all corners you, offering you a pig in a blanket, and begin to ask if you’re here with anyone. “Did you come alone?” they politely ask. You’re single. It’s obvious. But no one wants to be rude and not ask and assume you’re alone. You think for a second before answering, because you want your answer to be equally polite. And yet you’ve been there over an hour, have eaten everything in sight, including the hors d'oeuvres with garlic, and skillfully avoided the mistletoe hanging from every door frame. “No, I’m alone.” you reply. Cue the sudden, saddened look in their eyes, the slight tilt of their heads, and soft “ooh.” What else can you do but nod in agreement and kindly excuse yourself to the ladies room, while you choke back your honest response before grabbing another mushroom cap.

Welcome to my experience as a single gal during the holidays. I’m going on, well let’s just say many years of being single. So I’ve had my fair share of hating being single during the holidays. Watching the most adorable Christmas love stories on TV, wishing that was me while inhaling a tin of gingerbread cookies. Being cornered by well-meaning acquaintances inquiring if I’ve found a man yet. And if I didn’t feel bad before they asked, I certainly feel bad afterwards. Like they feel sorry for me, so maybe I should feel sorry for me. So you feel bad for yourself and go home and eat another tin of cookies, this time made of pure butter and sugar, because that one stung a bit more than you were expecting. But the older I've gotten, I realized being single isn't so bad. In fact, it's not bad at all.

I get it, though. This time of year, not having that special someone to sip hot chocolate with while strolling through the park can be a major bummer. What with the parties. And the his and her gifts. And the aunts and uncles that just keep asking when you’re going to have those babies…it’s a bit much.

In spite of it all...being single is actually quite fun, if you allow it to be.

I’ve had lots of practice in this department. So I’ve found some sure fired ways to keep your spirits up and stay merry and bright during the holiday season.

So are you ready to be single during the holidays and actually enjoy it?????

#1. First and foremost, realize you won’t be single forever. I know it feels that way now. But the reality is that husband of yours will be here before you know it, so why not enjoy spending time with family and friends while you can and not worry about coordinating schedules and having to find him that perfect gift. Savor the single moments, kids.

#2. Do something for someone else. Sometimes we are so consumed with our own lives, we forget what Christmas is really about and how this is a hard time of year for a lot of people. So that’s why it’s a perfect time to give back. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Bake cookies and take them to your local fire department or police station. Send cards to the men and women fighting for your freedom overseas. Shovel snow for a neighbor. The smallest thing can make the biggest impact during the holiday season. Get out of your own world for a bit and love on others. It will mean more than you know.

#3. Treat yourself. Because you are awesome and you deserve it. Take a trip for New Year’s. Buy yourself something special and place it under the tree. Have a spa day. Do something that makes you feel good. Just because you aren’t married or in relationship doesn’t make you any less of a person.

#4. Plan a special night with your other single friends. Make cookies. Watch an old Christmas movie. Go door to door singing Christmas carols. Sometimes it’s nice to know you aren’t alone and to know you can still enjoy the holidays.

#5. This is the final and most important one. Trust that God’s got you. He has the perfect guy out there for you. It’s all in his timing. It’s not easy, but it will be totally worth it. 

I hope this helps you navigate the holiday season this year. I’ll be right there with ya and you can bet I’ll be making the most of every SINGLE second I’ve got.